On letting go and immortalizing what remains.
but letting go is sometimes a necessity, don’t you think so?
Letting go of something we once deemed as love is not the same as forgetting what we had; the story of us, for example.
Remember how people kept pointing us out as the two perfect roses in a posh crystal dome? They were blinded by the beauty of our silky petals, forgetting the oh-so-obvious that our ever-growing thorns also have the potential to prick us both. And more often than not, people mistook our scarlet blood as a solid sign of this burning passion that we never knew could backfire on us. We should have known that a disproportionate flame of devotion could eventually burn us out.
We should have known better that sometimes quantifiable sparks are enough. Yet, we deliberately went out of our way to create explosions that only hurt us both — failed to get the picture that we were not knowledgeable in reducing the damage and injuries caused by our foolishness. I, too, thought we did it out of love. Besides, who refuses the idea of a thrilling and hot-blooded love story as a token of their marvelous youth?
Again, if you ask me, why don’t we try holding on for a little longer? For the love of God, when was the last time we spent the day together peacefully? Without emitting endless scoffs and shrieks, without tossing out some groundless, petty accusations, and without vomiting hurtful nonsense?
“I hate it when you are like this.”
“This side of you is truly sickening.”
“I really can’t stand the sight of you right now.”
And after a whole parade full of overlapping screams and running tears, there would be nothing left other than this cold silence to fill the unbridgeable gap we created ourselves.
I must not be the only one wondering; where have all the butterflies that used to reside in our stomachs gone? But sweetheart, it pans out they did not just suddenly disappear like we thought they did. Those butterflies have slowly transformed into enraged wasps, injecting hundreds of venomous stings into the veins — resulting in this insufferable numbness within our hearts. The feelings of infatuation we have been cultivating together for years have gradually ceased into a sense of unfamiliarity. Perhaps, we have lost touch with the magic of being so madly in love.
And sometimes, no one is really at fault. For some pairs, the unbalanced state between two parties in an attempt to maintain their love for one another forged all hell breaks loose. For other couples, the lifetime battle they fight to hold onto their excess love may cost everything; serenity, mindfulness, sanity, and even their entire well-being. By letting us go, we learned to accept this strange concept that love might only be contractual for you and me.
Our story may have ended in an upsetting way, but we are no longer loving while unknowingly hurting each other. We have both saved ourselves since what we let go of is something that no longer works for us — a thing that slowly makes us fall into ruins. Though the story of us could never make it to doomsday, it was and still is a part of my passage, a heart-wrenching chronicle to be given a breath of life through inks and fervid emotions in-between pages — just like how we always wanted it to be.
