On giving Life a(nother) chance.
Many things still confuse me, but I need Life now — maybe tomorrow as well or even much later than I originally planned.
I met Life at a friend’s birthday party. And he asked for a dance with me under the shimmering mirrorball made of people’s fragments of memories. Echoes of joyful cries and sad chuckles were the music that accompanied each of my steps. Glasses of honey wine clinking resonated deeply with electrifying sparks on my toes whenever I spun around. Life was pretty good at dancing, and he kept teasing me as I displayed such terrible dance moves.
I was clueless about almost everything, including how I felt about Life. I still am, honestly. I didn’t know if he meant anything to me. However, he was hilarious enough to make me think about him all night without doing much. Everybody knew I could handle my liquor pretty well, but I got drunk the second Life had me in his embrace. I was half-sober, but I remember I kept giggling quite happily. Does it mean Life is the one I desire? I still am not sure. I’ll try to look deeper into my soul and see where it’ll lead me.
It’s a total gamble, but I tried to seduce Life to give me a cut of himself — even if I had to get beaten out of it, even if disgust would paint the face of the whole world thinking I was lower than those stray dogs begging for mere bones. I tried to rack my brain to provide more ideas about what I needed to do next to gain favor from Life so he would not leave my side. Sometimes, I did make it. Other times, I didn’t. Nevertheless, I tried.
Maybe it is not love yet. It may be nothing more than infatuation. I might even develop such animosity toward Life later and end up disliking him. But I don’t have to think hard about something that has yet to happen, right? All I know now is Life is all I need, and I hope he is fine with me chasing after him like a mad woman who lost all reason.
